Many people get accustomed to doing things only one way for efficiency reasons be it safety related, what Google Maps says or fastest route available.
In order to get out of your rut, you should start with changing things up when it comes to routes you take to/from work, neighborhoods you hang out at, places you frequent etc.
Research places to explore and use those as a guide to navigate new parts of your hometown. Sit at the bar and communal tables, ask a stranger for directions vs just Googling it. Do something different each day.
I don’t advise becoming a regular at a singles bar but it doesn’t hurt to dip your toes into a place known for having many singles. These places can feel like a seen and a place for narcissists and shallow folks .
I rather focus on going to places one would enjoy – any bar can be a singles bar on any given night. Usually places that are more relaxed and casual are easier to initiate conversations with others.
Having a familiar face helps established a sense of trust either with the person or said establishment. Knowing what to order, where to sit, what the secret items on the menu are or just knowing a name is all it takes to spark a conversation with someone. Bonding over dishes, cocktails, music etc. is a great way to make new friends and possible dates.
How To Become A Regular At A Bar
3) Pick your seat wisely – face the crowds or face the bartenders (bar seating is ideal). Pick same areas when you go back. Avoid corner seats where you limit who can sit next to you.
4) Wear something unique whether it’s a hometown shirt or your favorite travel article of clothing. Reference hometowns, travel or other venues when appropriate, i.e. drink reminds you of xyz.
5) Be kind but not overly cheerful. Say thank you, ask questions or recommendations but know when it’s ok to do so (not in the middle of making a drink). I had this drink last time and it was great, do you have anything similar in terms of bitterness? Move over a seat to accommodate a large group. Bring back your glass when ordering a new drink if you are seated at a table.
7) Remember names. Don’t do this right away, it takes time to build a connection. Make a note on your phone.
8) Learn to read people. Not all patrons nor bartenders want to talk every time. Sometimes people have their off days or with to be left alone. Not personal, don’t internalize things.
9) Know the lingo. Spirit-forward, bitter, dry, etc. Order decisively – don’t waste time. Order drinks all at once for our party. If you need help, tell them your preferences, don’t just ask whatever you like. List a style of beer, alcohol base etc. Listen, recall past visits, but don’t distract them from their job.
10) Not every bar is easy to become a regular. Some are too stiff or draw transient crowds. Knowing which places to go and when to go is key.
How To Meet People To Date: Get A Pet, Exercise Outside
Pets help bridge a social gab as strangers naturally want to pet your dog, ask about your dog etc. Don’t go to a breeder, instead go to an adoption agency and find a rescue dog.
When possible, avoid wearing headphones at your local gym and instead join a work out class, cycling or running group, or find a social group online via Meetup. Any chance you can avoid doing something online or indoors and instead go outside and interact with others is a win!